有一天 (One Day)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldwKXmvn57Y

有一天你若觉的失去勇气
有一天你若真的想放弃
有一天你若感觉没人爱你
有一天好像走到谷底

那一天你要振作你的心情
那一天你要珍惜你自己
那一天不要忘记有人爱你
那一天不要轻易说放弃

这个世界真有一位上帝
他爱你　他愿意帮助你
茫茫人海　虽然寂寞
他爱能温暖一切冷漠

这个世界真有一位上帝
他的双手渴望紧紧拥抱你
漫漫长夜　陪你走过
他爱你　伴你一生之久

One Day

One day if you lose your courage

One day if you want to give up

One day if you feel unloved

One day if you are at your lowest point

That day you must brace yourself

That day you must value yourself

That day you must not forget that someone loves you

That day you must not give up

There is a true God in this world

He loves you, He’s willing to help you

You may be alone in the sea of people

His love will warm your heart

There is a true God in this world

He will embrace you with His hands

He will walk with you through the long nights

He loves you and will be with you forever

Greater appreciation for the example of Job

The book of Job spoke deeply to my heart as I was going through Topical Steroid Withdrawal. In Job 7:3- 5, it reads, 

"And wearisome nights have been appointed to me.

When I lie down, I say, ‘When shall I arise,

And the night be ended?’

For I have had my fill of tossing till dawn.

My flesh is caked with worms and dust,

My skin is cracked and breaks out afresh."

This was exactly how I felt in those dark and lonely nights. I dreaded the night for I knew it would be another sleepless one. Sleep was at most an hour each time, and without fail I would wake with crazy itchy frenzy on raw and painful skin. I wish I didn't have to sleep and could just stay awake, yet sleep was so paramount for healing. On top of the sleeplessness, I was struggling with full body red, oozing, open wounds.... Yes, I understood what Job described as "skin is cracked and breaks out afresh". I shed copious tears. 

Yet, through it all, I am thankful for this painful experience as I could appreciate the book of Job so much more. No one had it worse than Job. His loss and suffering was immense and I believe beyond comprehension (health, family, wealth...). Yet, Job stood out as a man with great trust and faith in the Lord despite all trials and affliction. Reading about him was almost like God’s urging me to emulate him, a man of faith who rose above infirmity, blameless and upright throughout his time. I was challenged by his example and sought to emulate his responses in times of affliction. He did not curse the Lord for his sufferings. He held fast to his faith in God. 

I never questioned why I had to go through this ill bout of health. On the contrary, I see the purpose and meaning as I see the good things that came out of the ordeal. Having a deeper appreciation for the book of Job is surely one of them.    

We will heal!

I dug out a picture from my hubby's phone and want to show you how my face flared at its worst. Steroids was never used on my face and neck. But TSW spares no inch. Whole body invasion! The hope is, we can get better and we will. Just give yourself time and be patient!

However I am not healed completely. Still a long way to go. Take a look at my feet now. Still lots of shedding and flaky skin. But no edema! Rejoice!

Burdened beyond measure

What do you do when you feel burdened beyond measure? That was how I felt as I battled with severe symptoms of withdrawal. This is a poem I will love to share with you. It is beautiful written with inspiration from 2 Corinthians 1:8-11 where Apostle Paul spoke of his suffering and burden (he despaired even of life), yet his trust was in the Lord with complete assurance that God will deliver. 

"For we do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, of our trouble which came to us in Asia: that we were burdened beyond measure, above strength, so that we despaired even of life. Yes, we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead, who delivered us from so great a death, and does deliver us; in whom we trust that He will still deliver us, you also helping together in prayer for us, that thanks may be given by many persons on our behalf for the gift granted to us through many."

This is my faith in God. When life throws me off and TSW sends my life tumbling out of balance, my faith and trust in the Lord enables to cope. I hope you too can find this same faith I have to enable you to cope with life's challenges. xoxo

Milestones

I have not been updating this blog and I realised I was so busy getting my life back after the symptoms eased. I was busy helping with the kids' exams, preparing for Christmas, away on family holidays... It was a good two months of getting by my yearly routine. In fact to be able to do so is considered an achievement, given that I was so ill few months back.

Let me list down some of the milestones while I was away:
1) My edema subsided significantly. Yes, I can finally  fit into all my shoes and even bought more new ones to celebrate this!

2) I can travel! In November and December, I traveled to Hong Kong and Chiang Mai. I was apprehensive about how I would react in the cold. Surprisingly, the moderate cold (15+ C) in Hong Kong was bearable and in fact comfortable! My skin did not crack under the dryness. However I was not too optimistic about exposing my skin to severe cold wintery conditions. Hence winter holidays are out.

3) I could eat all kinds of food without fearing a reaction. I think to be able to do this is so significant. In my 4th month of withdrawal. I reacted to lamb, strawberries (they gave me hives) and I was cautious of every morsel of food I took. In Hong Kong, I found myself taking lots of seafood (prawns, shell fish, crabs...etc.). Not that I fancy seafood but my hubby loves it. I was actually fine taking it. No flares, no hives, no itch from eating! What a pleasant surprise. Take a look at some of the yummy seafood I took in Hong Kong.

4) Coffee? Wine? Sugar? That's alright too. Oh yes, I am back to my old diet- coffee and lots of it. During my flares, I cut coffee, wine and sugar completely. Coffee is dehydrating, wine causes dilation of blood vessels and sugar causes inflammation. They are not TSW friendly at all. As my symptoms eased, I went back to drinking some coffee (its my comfort drink!), took some wine and desserts during festive period. In fact, I believe I added a few kilos with the increased sugar intake. I am not suggesting that coffee, wine and sugar is good. In fact, I hope I will be more discipline to eat healthily. What I am rejoicing is I can take sugar without fearing reaction or worsening inflammation.

Gorgeous rose flavored coffee and desserts from Agnes B Cafe

5) I was well enough to invite few groups of friends and students over to my place in December. Children had fun running around, ransacking the fridge, getting busy with activities like scrap booking while mummy was busy cooking and tending to their needs. Can you imagine the mess? At one point there were 12 children running all over the house! But seriously, there is much joy in the ability to be a host. This was not possible when I was ill. In fact for few months, we could not have guests over as I couldn't stand for long due to severe edema. Below is a picture of the gathering of my 40 over students at my place in December. Trust me, it is no easy feat to have so many over at the same time (with dinner provided). Thank God for granting me good recovery with energy level to be a blessing to them!

Hang on there warriors. Yes, I know you are reading. As you look back at your journey, celebrate every little improvement and list down your milestones too!